LIVING IN A FANTASY

Ok football fans, time to wake up. No, this isn’t your mother waking you up for dreaded school after a sun-filled summer of sleep-away camp. It’s the opposite. This is the NFL, waking you up for September after a drama-filled summer of dreaded training camp.

For the past 4 months, our imaginations have been filled with hype and expectations, daydreams and delusions that maybe, just maybe, this season will be it. We’ve convinced ourselves that our receiving corps is stronger than average, our quarterback has what it takes, and our defense isn’t as penetrable as they say.

We’ve used statistics for predictions, experts for advice, and analysis for estimations. We’d sell our soul for a trophy but insist our team doesn’t need the extra help.

Did I mention these are our fantasy teams? However, these ideas aren’t far from our true fandom. It’s not a big difference from the squads we’ve invested our lives into versus the ones we’ve merely invested money.

We hang high hopes on players, coaches and match-ups using phrases such as “just wait” and “you’ll see.”

Well, the wait is over. We’ve sweated through our fantasy drafts and awaited final roster cuts and now our false sense of confidence has carried us right up to this moment.

Reality.

And the beginning of a new NFL season.

Fantasy or not, everyone rolled their eyes as Jets fans hyped Mark Sanchez, Washington talked about winning a Super Bowl and Favre triumphantly returned.

So this season, I’m keeping track. We are going to destroy illusions in hopes of uncovering a reality. That fantasy football and fandom in general, is more about what you think than what you actually know.

Each week we’ll follow the truths and delusions of several knowledgeable sports fans from various teams around the league. Does honesty grow with exposure or is the other way around?

And how do I prove they are knowledgeable? I can’t. The standings will do that for me.

PREDICTIONS:

Jeremy, the “Hopeful Defeatist”
Bills: 5-11... Ravens/Vikings in Super Bowl
Week 1 Quote - “That Super Bowl call is a huge gamble”

Jen, the “Psychologist”
Dallas: 12-4, no 11-5... Packers win Super Bowl
Week 1 Quote - “Cowboys will give hope that they are a SB caliber team but will beat themselves with mental errors.”

Mark, the “Unrealistic Homer”
Packers: 12-4... Packers/Colts Super Bowl
Week 1 Quote - “Our O-line is way better than anyone knows.”

Spencer, “The Dejected Realist”
Redskins: 9-7... Colts/Vikings in Super Bowl
“Sadly, the ‘Boys will win the division”

Geoff, the “Blatant Pragmatist”
Ravens: 12-4... Colts/Saints in Super Bowl
“We have a weak schedule.”


Bonus Picks:
Mom’s Pick: Panthers over Giants “Because I like the color of their jerseys.”

Dad’s Pick: Patriots over Bengals, 28-21 “Because I have Tom Brady cologne. It smells good. Plus he impregnated two supermodels. That’s pretty good stuff.”

My Pick: Redskins over Cowboys. In reality, it just doesn’t get any better than this.

B Real talks Lakers, Kobe & LeBron

The Answer to Warner's Prayers

Before Kurt Warner went to sleep Saturday night, he knelt beside his bed, folded his hands, bowed his head and said a little prayer; "God please give me the wisdom and strength to lead my team to victory. Please allow me to succeed in my endeavors and allow my super bowl ring and 2-time NFL MVP awards to guide me through the challenges I face before me, Amen"

Before lacing up his cleats and taking the field for warmups, Warner closed his eyes again and said; "God, if you can hear me, please grant me the ability to control my emotions and concentrate on the task at hand. Also, could you please ask the NFL's second-ranked defense to not only fail to meet expectations, but become completely obsolete in their most meaningful game of the season, Amen."

As his took his place under center, for what could have possibly been the final playoff game of the QBs career, Warner turned his head to the sky and said; "God, if you are listening, please look after my teammates and coaches during this mission. And could you please manage to render Packers six-time pro bowler, interception league-leader, Charles Woodson meaningless in a game where only one turnover could dictate the outcome, Amen."


And for the final time, after two prayers answered and a tie ballgame on the board, Warner took a knee on the sidelines and before the start of OT, after the Packers won the toss, lowered his gaze one final time and said; "God, if you're there, please grant me the courage to choose the right course of action and set the ultimate example for my fans and teammates. Also, could you please assist Aaron Rogers in single-handedly "kicking" his team out of the playoffs on the final play of the game, Amen."

Sunday night, in the NFC wild card game, it was obvious Joe Buck was a Cardinals fan. To Warner, the obvious fan was his oldest and dearest friend who, to him, took a small town grocery bagger and made him a future NFL Hall of Fame quarterback. Next week you better believe Joe Buck will still be rooting for the Cardinals. But don't be so sure about God. Warner's playing the Saints.