LIVING IN A FANTASY

Ok football fans, time to wake up. No, this isn’t your mother waking you up for dreaded school after a sun-filled summer of sleep-away camp. It’s the opposite. This is the NFL, waking you up for September after a drama-filled summer of dreaded training camp.

For the past 4 months, our imaginations have been filled with hype and expectations, daydreams and delusions that maybe, just maybe, this season will be it. We’ve convinced ourselves that our receiving corps is stronger than average, our quarterback has what it takes, and our defense isn’t as penetrable as they say.

We’ve used statistics for predictions, experts for advice, and analysis for estimations. We’d sell our soul for a trophy but insist our team doesn’t need the extra help.

Did I mention these are our fantasy teams? However, these ideas aren’t far from our true fandom. It’s not a big difference from the squads we’ve invested our lives into versus the ones we’ve merely invested money.

We hang high hopes on players, coaches and match-ups using phrases such as “just wait” and “you’ll see.”

Well, the wait is over. We’ve sweated through our fantasy drafts and awaited final roster cuts and now our false sense of confidence has carried us right up to this moment.

Reality.

And the beginning of a new NFL season.

Fantasy or not, everyone rolled their eyes as Jets fans hyped Mark Sanchez, Washington talked about winning a Super Bowl and Favre triumphantly returned.

So this season, I’m keeping track. We are going to destroy illusions in hopes of uncovering a reality. That fantasy football and fandom in general, is more about what you think than what you actually know.

Each week we’ll follow the truths and delusions of several knowledgeable sports fans from various teams around the league. Does honesty grow with exposure or is the other way around?

And how do I prove they are knowledgeable? I can’t. The standings will do that for me.

PREDICTIONS:

Jeremy, the “Hopeful Defeatist”
Bills: 5-11... Ravens/Vikings in Super Bowl
Week 1 Quote - “That Super Bowl call is a huge gamble”

Jen, the “Psychologist”
Dallas: 12-4, no 11-5... Packers win Super Bowl
Week 1 Quote - “Cowboys will give hope that they are a SB caliber team but will beat themselves with mental errors.”

Mark, the “Unrealistic Homer”
Packers: 12-4... Packers/Colts Super Bowl
Week 1 Quote - “Our O-line is way better than anyone knows.”

Spencer, “The Dejected Realist”
Redskins: 9-7... Colts/Vikings in Super Bowl
“Sadly, the ‘Boys will win the division”

Geoff, the “Blatant Pragmatist”
Ravens: 12-4... Colts/Saints in Super Bowl
“We have a weak schedule.”


Bonus Picks:
Mom’s Pick: Panthers over Giants “Because I like the color of their jerseys.”

Dad’s Pick: Patriots over Bengals, 28-21 “Because I have Tom Brady cologne. It smells good. Plus he impregnated two supermodels. That’s pretty good stuff.”

My Pick: Redskins over Cowboys. In reality, it just doesn’t get any better than this.

B Real talks Lakers, Kobe & LeBron

The Answer to Warner's Prayers

Before Kurt Warner went to sleep Saturday night, he knelt beside his bed, folded his hands, bowed his head and said a little prayer; "God please give me the wisdom and strength to lead my team to victory. Please allow me to succeed in my endeavors and allow my super bowl ring and 2-time NFL MVP awards to guide me through the challenges I face before me, Amen"

Before lacing up his cleats and taking the field for warmups, Warner closed his eyes again and said; "God, if you can hear me, please grant me the ability to control my emotions and concentrate on the task at hand. Also, could you please ask the NFL's second-ranked defense to not only fail to meet expectations, but become completely obsolete in their most meaningful game of the season, Amen."

As his took his place under center, for what could have possibly been the final playoff game of the QBs career, Warner turned his head to the sky and said; "God, if you are listening, please look after my teammates and coaches during this mission. And could you please manage to render Packers six-time pro bowler, interception league-leader, Charles Woodson meaningless in a game where only one turnover could dictate the outcome, Amen."


And for the final time, after two prayers answered and a tie ballgame on the board, Warner took a knee on the sidelines and before the start of OT, after the Packers won the toss, lowered his gaze one final time and said; "God, if you're there, please grant me the courage to choose the right course of action and set the ultimate example for my fans and teammates. Also, could you please assist Aaron Rogers in single-handedly "kicking" his team out of the playoffs on the final play of the game, Amen."

Sunday night, in the NFC wild card game, it was obvious Joe Buck was a Cardinals fan. To Warner, the obvious fan was his oldest and dearest friend who, to him, took a small town grocery bagger and made him a future NFL Hall of Fame quarterback. Next week you better believe Joe Buck will still be rooting for the Cardinals. But don't be so sure about God. Warner's playing the Saints.

Is There a Draft in Here?

Didn't seem like it. With the death of the King of Pop, the 2009 NBA Draft took a back seat to the emotional news of Michael Jackson's passing. And rightfully so. MJ's music was not only a huge influence on generations of fans, his monumental career paved the way for so many artists to follow in his footsteps. Radio and TV halted their coverage of the conflict in Iran to air tributes to the fallen musical genius. Candlelight vigils were held, videos and comments flooded the Internet, creating an overload not even the world wide web could handle. His impact was felt around the globe as world leaders issued public statements on the sadness of their loss.

Here in the States, fans came together outside the hospital where the Jackson family gathered in support of Michael for one final time. On the east coast, the WaMu theater in Madison Square Garden was abuzz with whispers and phone calls, not on the draftees, but rather on the shocking news of Jackson's sudden death. In DC, Michael Jackson was the story; the draft was not. The legendary chart-climber, musician, dancer and entertainer was honored without draft news interruption. Because in Washington, we didn't need the draft.

In one of the smartest moves made in DC area sports since the Capitals drafted Alex Ovechkin in 2004, the Wizards organization traded their 5th pick, along with Etan Thomas, Darius Songaila and Olesky Pecherov, to the Minnesota Timberwolves in exchange for Mike Miller and Randy Foye.

I say it was a smart decision because Flip Saunders, an effective, offensive-minded coach, is looking for a ring now. Tomorrow is too late. And by stacking this team with veteran players and not wasting the team or the district's time developing a foreign teenager or a weak guard, the Wizards went ahead and skipped the nonsense and got right down to business.

One of the top three draftees - Blake Griffin, Hasheem Thabeet or James Harden - definitely would have looked nice in a Washington uniform. But let the ping pong balls fall where they may and you leave the future of your organization to chance. Yes, trading away the first, second or third pick would have been ludicrous, but trading the fifth pick was somewhat of an intuitive move that will pay off in the immediate future.

While the new-look Wiz kids won't have nearly the moves of the late great MJ, or the star power to captivate an audience like MJ did, they certainly Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' that will be talked about, if not worldwide, at least state wide, and in part of the conversation in the WaMu theater this time next year.

Gold Glover

Bethpage State Park -the par 70 Black Course - the first public course to host the U.S. Open. Long Island, New York - home to some of the drunkest golf fans I've ever seen on national television - and some of the worst fescue grass known to man. And all this was already there. Now, bring in the weather and the drama.

This wasn't your typical U.S. Open. If fact, it couldn't have been more left to last year's right. Last June was West coast; this was mostly certainly East. Private course vs Public. Sunshine vs rain. All-stars vs all the rest. But it's still golf and their was still a major to be played. So we play on.

Thursday kicked off with some familiar faces. Tiger, Rocco and Mickelson came ready to play; unfortunately so did Mother Nature. The gallery looked like a gumball machine as the round, colorful umbrellas became the backdrop for most of the afternoon. The rains came and suspended play as many wondered how they would squeeze four rounds of golf into three stormy days. For now, they would try to squeeze the water from the soaking greens.

Virginia Tech grad Drew Weaver enjoyed the lead for about as long as Bethpage enjoyed sun; ACC standup. The biggest emotional roller coaster was rode by both fans and players alike. Riding shotgun, bearing the biggest burden, was Phil Mickelson, who's wife Amy was at home awaiting surgery for breast cancer. Lefty's phenomenal putting was on display Sunday afternoon, nailing two long birdie putts on both 16 and 18 with ease. While unable to hoist the trophy, Phil's triumphant comeback on Monday, which took him to -4 for a share of the lead, was good enough to feed the New York crowd's hunger for some competition.

The darker side of the story came straight from the Tiger's mouth. Sitting at home on Father's Day Sunday watching golf, as I'm sure several father-son/father-daughter duos were, I noticed something different about Tiger. His concentration fell apart, anger boiled over and the world's number one golfer became human, if only for a day. Forget Tiger's putting, which was a disaster, his attitude was worse. Throwing clubs. Cussing audibly on national television. Tiger was throwing a 2-year-old temper tantrum as 26-year-old Ricky Barnes rose to the occasion. If it weren't for Tiger's repeat chip-in on 17 - which saved his dignity and most likely his caddie's life, who became Tiger bait when play turned ugly - the defending champ would have left New York a total loser. Instead, he left New York the 6th place loser with some coin in his purse and in serious need of an attitude adjustment. Dear Tiger, America likes their freak-show athletes to be just that. Please check your human qualities at the door.

All in all after a wet and wild weekend, golf gave away their trophy to a no-name who gets enough props from me with the title of this blog, Ricky Barnes' choke job will go down as one of the best (at least he placed in something) and the obnoxious, rained-out fans got their money's worth, even if they had to bitch about it. It just goes to show, you can take New Yorkers out of the city but you can't take the city out of New Yorkers.

Dear Mr. Stern:

I am orange and black and made of leather. I have "the logo" tattooed on my chest and "Spalding" slammed across my forehead. I have been in the hands of a King and palmed by Superman, and I've been kissing the glass since I can remember. I make dreams come true and shatter high hopes; I get so much air the atmosphere is jealous.

I'm closer than court side and nothing but net. I'm in your grandfather's trophy case, hiding out in your garage and hanging out with the kids on the playground. I've watched boys become men, athletes become elitists, and icons become untouchables.

I'm the game-winning, buzzer-beating, last second jumper in the hands of the closer. I've been jammed, slammed, dunked, bounced, laid-up and thrown down. I've been taken to school, coast to coast. I am definitely official.

I represent the game. As a fellow icon, you represent the game. I can't talk, but if I could, I would have a lot to say. Last night, Lebron James was eliminated from the postseason. I watched him walk off the court, leaving his fans, teammates and coaches behind. I watched as he bypassed the media room, slipped on his earphones, and slipped out the door. He became mute to the world. It's funny, because during the season, he had so much to say. And now?





It's your job as the commish to lead these men. I am the official game ball. Lebron is the official league hero. And his actions were a complete embarrassment. I sit in the bedrooms of the dreamers next to posters of Lebron. I put in countless hours at the gym shaping young children into their idle... A 23-year-old man who doesn't have the dignity to lose with respect. It's not easy, being me. I see a lot, but last night I wish I hadn't witnessed such a performance. Next to the game ball, the handshake is one of the most time-honored traditions in this sport. And it eluded the chosen one? That's not acceptable.

Winning isn't everything, Mr. Stern, but it was the only thing that could have gotten you one step closer to the Kobe-Lebron finals you've been dreaming of. And winning is only second to respect. Without respect, you have no fans, or dreamers, or sponsors or players. It might just be about money to you. But tell that to the six-year-old in the front row who I saw looking up to King James all night. Who does he look up to now? You need to give him someone to look up to. Your job depends on it. And frankly, so does mine.

For the Love of the Game,
The "Official" Cavaliers-Magic Game 6 game ball

To the City of Brotherly Love

Andre Igoudala and Co. just got some of the best news they will hear all off season. They have a new head coach, but not just any head coach, a phenomenal athlete, leader and role model who will excel in this position. Six months and 5 days ago Eddie Jordan was fired from the Washington Wizards. Today, the Philadelphia 76ers hired Jordan to lead them to the top of the Eastern Conference and beyond. And they will get there. They hired the coach who can take them there. Just don't think the Wizards are going to stand in his way.